Thriving in Midlife: 14 Positive Changes That Transformed My Life

As I’m getting older, life just keeps getting better and better. I’ve always believed that midlife should be the best phase of our lives, a time to reap the rewards of all that we’ve experienced and accomplished over the years. And you know what? It’s definitely true for me.

The last three years have been a wild ride, though. I’m 53 now, and in this time, I’ve lived through a global pandemic, explored Europe in a campervan for 12 incredible months, welcomed a puppy into my life, lost my beloved mom, and then packed up and moved to Majorca, Spain—all while building my online business as a coach for other midlife coaches. Phew! It’s been a lot to handle.

But despite the challenges, I wouldn’t trade these experiences for anything. They’ve taught me resilience, adaptability, and the importance of cherishing every moment. Midlife isn’t a crisis; it’s an opportunity to reinvent ourselves, chase our dreams, and make the most of every day. And I’m embracing it all with open arms.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m not the same energizer bunny I was in my twenties or thirties, but I also know that I couldn’t have achieved all of this back then. I simply didn’t have the same mindset and confidence. The secret sauce to my success? Letting go of all the things that were holding me back… Here’s what I embraced instead:

1. Breaking Free from People-Pleasing

I used to be the queen of people-pleasing, always putting everyone else’s needs before my own. Especially in my work, which let to stress, burnout, and depression. I finally learned to set some boundaries, put myself first, and surround myself with people who appreciate me for who I am, flaws and all.

It wasn’t easy, but it was necessary for my overall well-being. I started by learning to say “no” to requests that didn’t align with my values or goals, and gradually built up the courage to assert myself in more significant ways. As a result, I’ve found a supportive network of friends and loved ones who respect my boundaries and celebrate my growth. Letting go of people-pleasing has been one of the most liberating experiences of my life.

2. Prioritizing Health and Self-Care

Back in the day, I thought I was invincible (didn’t we all?). Skipping meals, pulling all-nighters, and running on caffeine and adrenaline. Well, I can’t do that anymore, and thank God for that. These days, I’m all about self-care, eating right, and making time for exercise and relaxation. I start my day with some gentle yoga, I see that I get my 10,000 steps a day in (easy when you have an energetic terrier), and I’m much more mindful about my diet. This journey started when I went to Bali for a yoga teacher training in my forties and I’ll be forever grateful for everything I’ve learned not just about yoga, but about self-development, mindfulness and diet.

3. Leaving the Past Behind

I used to be the master of rumination, constantly replaying old mistakes and what-ifs in my head. That’s a surefire way to stay stuck. Research shows that rumination is linked to a variety of negative outcomes, including depression, anxiety, and even cardiovascular disease. I’ve learned to practice self-compassion, forgive myself for my shortcomings, and focus on the lessons I’ve learned along the way.

4. Embracing My Unique Journey

Ah, the comparison trap. It’s a sneaky one, isn’t it? I used to constantly measure my success and happiness against everyone else’s highlight reel. Here’s the thing: everyone’s journey is different. There’s no one-size-fits-all definition of success. I celebrate my own wins, no matter how small, and find joy in my personal growth and progress.

5. Investing in Experiences, Not Things

I’ll admit it, I used to be a bit of a shopaholic. Always chasing the latest trends and trying to fill some void with material possessions. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized that true fulfillment comes from experiences, not things. A study by San Francisco State University found that people who spent money on experiences rather than material items were happier and felt the money was better spent. I invest in making memories and connecting with others, not accumulating more stuff. And when I purchase something, I make sure I really love it and will cherish it.

6. Setting Boundaries in Relationships

I used to have a bad habit of tolerating toxic behavior from friends, family, or partners out of some misguided sense of loyalty or fear of being alone. Life’s too short for that nonsense. I’ve learned to set boundaries, speak up for myself, and walk away from relationships that don’t serve me.

7. Taking Action Towards My Dreams

I used to be the queen of procrastination, always finding excuses to put off pursuing my passions and goals. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized that time is precious, and I don’t want to look back on my life with regrets. I take action, even if it’s just small steps, towards building the life I truly want. For me it’s now or never and I go for it.

8. Being Selective with My Time and Energy

Saying no to requests and invitations was so hard for me, even when they didn’t align with my priorities or values. Overcommitting myself only led to stress, burnout, and resentment. I’m more selective with my time and energy, focusing on the people and activities that bring me genuine joy and fulfillment.

9. Making Time for Passions and Hobbies

In the hustle and bustle of daily life, it’s easy to put your hobbies and interests on the back burner. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized that engaging in activities that bring me joy and creative expression is essential for my overall well-being. Studies have shown that engaging in hobbies can reduce stress, improve mood, and even boost cognitive function and I can definitely attest to that. I make time for the things I love, whether it’s painting, writing, or exploring new places.

10. Practicing Forgiveness and Letting Go

Holding onto resentment and anger towards others is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. It only weighs you down and prevents you from finding inner peace. I learned this on my yoga journey but also research has found that forgiveness is linked to better mental health, lower levels of anxiety and depression, and even improved physical health. For me forgiveness is not about condoning hurtful behavior; rather, it’s about freeing myself from the negative emotions that come with holding grudges. I practice empathy, let go of past grievances, and focus on the present.

11. Embracing Honest Communication

I used to be the master of avoidance when it came to confrontation and difficult conversations. I feared the discomfort and potential fallout. Avoiding these discussions only leads to misunderstandings and unresolved issues. I’m developing the courage to have honest and open communication, even when it’s uncomfortable. It’s actually strengthened my relationships and personal growth.

12. Prioritizing Travel and Adventure

I always had a long list of places I wanted to visit, yet I would constantly postpone my travel plans, waiting for the “perfect” time or circumstances. Here’s the thing: there is no such thing as the perfect moment, and life is too short to keep putting off your dreams. I prioritize travel, whether it’s a weekend getaway or a month-long adventure. Let me tell you, the joy and personal growth that comes with exploring new places and cultures is incredible. In fact, a study by the U.S. Travel Association found that people who take vacations are more likely to report feeling happy and satisfied with their lives.

13. Nurturing Meaningful Relationships

In the busyness of life, it’s easy to take your relationships for granted, assuming that they’ll always be there. Strong, meaningful connections require effort and nurturing. I make a conscious effort to stay in touch with loved ones, express my appreciation for them, and invest time and energy into building and maintaining deep, supportive relationships.

14. Living Authentically

I used to be consumed by the opinions and judgments of others, constantly seeking external validation and approval (like most of us). True confidence and happiness come from within, and you can’t control what others think of you. Today I focus on living authentically, staying true to my values and beliefs, and surrounding myself with people who accept and appreciate me for who I am.

Embracing these 14 things has been a game-changer for me. It’s brought me greater peace, purpose, and fulfillment in my fifties. Sure, the past three years have been filled with intense challenges and changes, and I’m grateful for the lessons I’ve learned and the growth I’ve experienced. I’m excited to embrace the next chapter of my life with a renewed sense of clarity, resilience, and joy. Here’s to letting go of what doesn’t serve us and embracing all the amazing things that do!