From the outside, people might make assumptions about what life looks like for a single woman in her 50s without children. Visions of loneliness, regrets, and something missing. But let me tell you, my reality couldn’t be farther from those outdated stereotypes. I’m reveling in this stage of life and have never felt more free, empowered and purposeful.
Don’t get me wrong, there was a time when I did worry about what the future might hold, being unmarried and childless. Like many women, I went through periods of uncertainty when things didn’t unfold according to the “typical” life script. But hitting my 50s has been incredibly liberating – those societal pressures have melted away, and I’ve wholeheartedly embraced the beauty of this unencumbered season.
A Life of Freedom and Adventure
One of the greatest gifts of being childless and unattached in midlife is the incredible freedom and mobility it allows. In my 40s, I made the most of this by moving to Bali and traveling all over South-East-Asia. When I was 50, I bought a campervan (a life dream of me) and explored the full of Europe on long, extended solo trips. No responsibilities at home, no schedules to work around, I could go wherever my heart desired and luxuriate in the adventure at every turn.
From hiking through the Swiss Alps and lounging on the beaches of Portugal to immersing myself in the history of Verona and the beauty of the Lofoten, those glorious months of van life sparked such joy and reminded me how fortunate I am to have this flexibility in my life.
Being able to make spontaneous decisions and craft my daily existence exactly how I want is something I cherish so much now. The lack of restraints and obligations that often comes with family life has been so incredibly freeing.
Finding Purpose and Fulfillment
Of course, freedom is just one part of the picture. Feeling purposeful and fulfilled has been equally important as I’ve aged. That’s why I put so much importance on my work and career – I run a thriving online business that lights me up every single day. Being professionally engaged and pursuing my passions on this level gives me such a profound sense of meaning and accomplishment.
And let’s not forget about my constant companion and loving ball of fur – my dog Luna. She came into my life in the middle of the pandemic and provides so much unconditional love, laughter, and reasons to get outside and stay active. I may not have human children, but being a dog mom is endlessly rewarding and keeps me on my toes.
Savoring the Simple Things
With the wisdom of age also comes a deeper appreciation for life’s simple pleasures. These days, I find so much joy and contentment in the basic things – a cup of coffee and a good book on my sun-drenched balcony in Mallorca. Taking Luna for long walks on the beach. Cooking a healthy, delicious meal in my kitchen. A thought-provoking conversation over wine with good friends.
I’ve never been much for the external trappings of success like big houses and fancy cars. I never wanted the home with the white picket fence in the suburbs. As I’ve gotten older, the allure of materialism has faded even more, replaced by valuing experiences, connections and just basking in the beauty around me each day.
The “Single Life” Isn’t So Single After All
While from a legal or romantic status I may be single, my life is actually overflowing with richness. I have deep soul friendships that nourish me, from my core group of amazing female friends scattered around the world to my communities online. I’m surrounded by sources of inspiration, belonging and love, just in different forms.
Does loneliness creep in sometimes? Of course, we all feel pangs of that human longing for companionship and intimacy from time to time, no matter our age or relationship status. But those moments are temporary blips. More often, I feel an incredible sense of contentment with my life and myself.
So this is what being a childfree, single woman in her 50s looks like for me – a beautiful, adventurous, purposeful existence where I get to design every aspect of my days according to my own values and desires. Far from a scenario to pity, it’s one to celebrate. My life is brimming with richness, freedom and so much love. And you know what? I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Susanne Rieker is the founder of Midlife etc. She moved to Majorca in Spain with her pup Luna, loving the slow island life in the Med. She’s also a business coach, helping women in midlife build a purposeful online business. Follow her on Instagram @susannerieker.
